Sunday, June 20, 2010

"You and Your brother are the apple of my eye.."

me and my dad at my wedding
he looks so serious but he was a very lighthearted guy!

sorry about the poor quality pics
he is holding our oldest girl, Christina!
"and I am so thankful to have you back in my life again"
My father would say this to me fairly often, after being reunited with him at the age of 12. My mother who had severe mental issues managed to keep my father and I separated until my older brother looked him up and found out that he was a wonderful man and telling me that I needed to get to know him. And I did, and my life was changed. At first, we would sit in the living room of my mother's house together, rather awkwardly as every Friday afternoon, we watched "The Edge Of Night" , a soap opera from that time. We both liked the drama , suspense and mystery of that show. Unfortunately that didn't last too long because my mother would be sitting nearby giving my father dirty looks and slamming cabinet doors and such, so we decided to take our Friday visits elsewhere.
We would go to a local diner and eat together, and my favorite thing to order was Nova Scotia Lox on a Bialy with cream cheese and a nice hot cup of tea with milk. In New York diners, this type of food was common, and the tea was always so good because NYC has the best water! It really does, I didn't know that until we moved to Florida and there were weird oil looking slicks floating on the surface which led us to BUYING our drinking water from then on.
During these diner visits, me and my father just talked and got to know each other. He asked me about school and my friends, he told me stories about his cousins or co workers. I became more and more comfortable around him with every visit.
Early in to our getting acquainted time, I never called him dad or anything because it felt weird as I had never called anyone that in my life, so I would just say "Hi, how ya doing?". I remember the first time I did, it just came out naturally, and my father did a double take when I said it. Of course as the years went on, I started to call him "Pop" because it just seemed more affectionate and natural. When I think of "Pop" I think of love, affection, and fun, and he was all those things. He really did say the line about me and my brother being the apple of his eye, and I am amazed at how much it affected me in a good way.
You want to know something funny? Today, I had lox and cream cheese on a bialy for breakfast! In Alabama! (we were at a nearby town in a Publix and found these items!) On Father's Day!! And, it was totally accidental, I didn't realize it was a fathers memory special!
My dad passed away in 1982, so unfortunately it was a too short but extremely meaningful time in my life. I will always love my POP and thank God for having him in my life!

15 comments:

  1. wow, that is a very moving story..how wonderful that you were reunited with him and had such a meaningful relationship! and p.s. you look radiant in your wedding pictures :)

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  2. A sweet story and some heartwarming memories. I'm so glad you had that time with him.

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  3. it was so sweet i shed some tears! -jenny f

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  4. I've heard that story before but it still makes me get choked up whenever I hear it. I am glad that you got to have some quality time with your father and he with you. He looks like he would have been a great guy to grow up around.

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  5. Time to be Thankful to our Fathers.

    Thank you so much for sharing a glimpse into your life.

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  6. Such a sweet post. I am glad you found your Pop and got to spend that time with him. I know finding that food today was no accident.

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  7. So glad you ended up getting to know your dad. =)

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  8. The story of your dad and you touched my heart more than you will ever know.

    My dad always used to tell me I was the apple of his eye too. I have always remembered that. Awhile back I bought some scrapbooking paper with apples on it and planned to do a page of my son and his newly adopted daughter with the title, "The Apple of My Daddy's Eye." I asked my son for some specific pictures and he sent them to me today. Can't wait to get started.

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  9. Aw, I had no idea that you didn't get to know your dad until you were 12. So glad you got to know him and that he was a blessing to you. I rarely see my dad. I tried to call him yesterday to wish him a happy Father's Day. I got a message that said, "I'm sorry, the person you are trying to cal is unreachable." How appropriate.

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  10. I read this yesterday but didn't have time to comment before I had to run out. This is such a terrific example of how important our words are to our children. We just never know which of our words will take root and grow in a child's heart. Kudos to dads like yours who choose words of love and encouragement!

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  11. first of all, what is a bialy? and second, as awful as that was of your mother to keep you separated from you dad, it sounds as if you appreciated him more that an average teenager would appreciate her father that she knew all of her life. i'm glad you got to know him and build memories with him. my father also is a harp player in heaven. it's nice knowing an angel is watching over me!

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  12. life is good: a bialy is sort of like a bagel,but a different texture and with onion in the middle!
    and..i agree with you about meeting my dad when i did,it definitely made me appreciate him more!
    and..oh what beautiful music is going on in heaven from our dads!

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